MENUDJ Hilley, LMHC
Daniel Hilley’s Therapist Disclosure Statement <<< (Clickable)
Deciding to try therapy can be an easy or difficult choice, and in some cases (I’m looking at you, teens) not entirely your choice at all. I recognize the courage it takes to sit down with a stranger and to feel that open sharing is the expectation. I also want everyone I work with to know that I hold no expectation of immediate or full openness about challenging things. Only you will know when you are ready to share what’s important. In fact, I see the first appointment more as my job interview with you than anything else. You have to decide if I’m the right person for you to work with, and no bio or picture can tell you that. So come on in, spend an hour with me, and we’ll make a plan from there. I may or may not be the right person for you – and I’ll tell you if I don’t think I’m the right fit. I invite you to tell me the same.
Therapy is a process – neither always easy, nor always hard. But it’s work, and like most things, the more you put into it the more you’ll get out of it. And most of the change will occur with the work you do outside of the therapy session. It’s my goal to spend our time developing strategies or new ways of understanding the world around you that equips you to try things a little differently each day between our meetings.
I believe strongly in this collaborative alliance and trust it to be a powerful force for change. I aim to provide an intimate and safe space in therapy where my clients can develop a new kind of relationship with themselves and the world around them.
My therapeutic approach is grounded in the acknowledgement that no two clients or presenting problems are the same, and that my role is to guide you in a collaborative endeavor. I believe in the healing power of relationships as well as utilizing evidence-based approaches to support lasting change. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with 17 years of experience working with a wide variety of clients and present concerns. I have extensive training in relationship therapy and sex therapy, interpersonal neurobiology, and the Bullies to Buddies approach to transforming challenging peer relationships.
In my free time, I enjoy time with my wife and our two goofy dogs, time in the kitchen, on our bikes or hiking, traveling anywhere, and enjoying good food. I’m a sucker for a good game of chess or a chance to sing with a choir. I spent most of my first 43 years in the Midwest, so you’re likely to hear an “ope” or “let me sneak past ya there” when we cross paths.
Specialties- “Specialties and areas of focus” column
Specialties and areas of focus
- Couple/Partner Relationships (inclusive of non-monogamy/poly relationships)
- Sexual Concerns (individual and within relationships)
- Parenting and Parent-Child/Parent-Teen Relationships
- Adolescents (ages 12+)
- ADHD
- Defiance/Oppositional Behaviors
- Relationships
- Sexuality/Gender Concerns
- Anxiety/Depression
- Academic Concerns
- Divorce Adjustment*
- *When parents are separated or divorced/potentially may divorce, I require that both parents sign Consent for Child/Adolescent Therapy.
Q&A with DJ
1.) Some therapists are more comfortable addressing the immediate problem, while others want to focus on the deeper issue. Which are you?
Like most things in this profession, “it depends.” What I mean is this: I can work with you on brief and solution-focused terms. If I notice things that may be deeper and create opportunities for change and growth, I will share them but will not require you to address anything you don’t want to address. I can be very pragmatic and skill-based, and I also feel very comfortable diving deeper as your comfort and openness dictate. We can also work together down the road if it isn’t the right time to delve into the deeper aspects.
2.) Do you tend to lead the session, or follow my lead?
I like to keep a thread connecting our sessions, but I also recognize that life happens and I encourage you to be an active participant in deciding each session’s focus. I also can help you to see the connections between various concerns at times, allowing us to tackle the larger issue rather than each smaller one.
3.) What are your strengths as a therapist?
I will always be forthright with you, and I have zero investment in “knowing the answer” to things. If I don’t know, I’ll tell you. If I don’t think I’m the right person help you, I’ll tell you that, too. And I’ll want you to tell me if you don’t think I’m the right person either. A genuine, trusting environment is the basis for moving forward.
4.) If you had one superpower, what would it be and why?
Flying. I’ve had dreams about it since I was a kid. It would be the ultimate freedom and serenity. I’d probably be a reckless daredevil as well, so a side of invincibility would be nice, too.
5.) What makes you laugh?
My dogs, my wife, my silly mistakes. A good pun or a bad pick-up line. Or a bad pun and a good pick-up line?
6.) Who would you have dinner with, dead or alive?
Alive: my favorite author, Roland Merullo.
Dead: my grandma. She was a classy and sassy lady.
